Thoughts from an Open Water Swimmer and Father: Turmoil paves a circuitous road to clarity. I wrote these thoughts as a guide to myself through the next months, and beyond. It is not complete nor a gospel, only thoughts of how I can live more fully and authentically today. Tomorrow will be different. My goal is to practice as many as possible, knowing a good day may only be three or four. I am happy to share below. Take what you want.

1. Living and healing begin with your attitude. A positive and healthy attitude is more contagious than anything else. A strong attitude is your edge in thriving today and beyond. That doesn’t mean be perfect or that your attitude won’t succumb to negative forces. Accept and adjust using tools that focus on converting negative to positive and productive.

2. Seek positive messages. Give positive messages. Be a positive message. If you feel frustrations and angst getting the best of you, excuse yourself and do something to get centered before returning to your family, friends, self or Facebook (ha!). One way to become centered is think of ways you can help someone or to whom you can send a good wish.

3. Practice gratitude. Gratitude is an antidote to fear, anxiety and depression. Be methodical and slow your thoughts down. What are ten things that you are grateful for, or ten ways you have been blessed. How about 20 of each? Write them down to look at as a quick fix for a bout of frustration or depression. While you’re at it, write out a top ten list of priorities in your life. Only 10, a hundred is for New Years.

4. Meditate. Meditation slows down your mind and directs your focus to a specific thought (if you wish) to unclutter and unpack mental space. Or, let your mind wander, following it to where it wants to take you. If you go to a dark place, lean into it and explore your fears, hurts and their origination. This is one way to conquer and manage them. This will grow space and fertile ground for fruitful positive thoughts. Take time to celebrate all you possess and your experiences. This is who you are in all your glory. Feel the light shine on you. Quiet is very important and often underappreciated in this super duper city lifestyle. Fuck the schedule now and again. Take time and drive in silence, stare out the window or up at the ceiling. Watch the clouds or go for a long swim to nowhere. You will be surprised the clarity and peace nothingness inspires within you. Then move on to your next task, champ.

5. Adapt. There is no one or right way to proceed. Be yourself. Your mind and body are created to adapt to stress. Welcome these stresses as opportunities for building a stronger better version of a spiritual, mental and physical you. Surrender to the opportunities of this new reality, not the fears. You always have a choice. Be curious. Ask questions. Curiosity and questions stimulate your imagination which leads to answers that adaptation begs. Often it begins with, “what if…” It definitely requires #1. Also remember, you are not alone. Many people, including professionals, are within reach. If you encounter an impasse, step back, try again or seek help from others. Isolation is more a state of mind and being used incorrectly in the media. Maintaining distance does not exclude remaining connected. Your community is always here.

6. Accept discomfort as a price to pay for a meaningful life. We work hard for the comforts of this modern life. These days discomfort may not be our choice. Growth opportunities are offered when comforts are stripped away to reveal our true essence and realities. Revel in discomfort to discover wherein the shadow your true meaning lives. Step into new uncomfortable arenas to find or return to who you are or can be, or want to be. Sometimes it is scary to be yourself and risk failure. This is a time to make an impact by challenging the discomfort of adaptation to become a new you in a new world. And if you make mistakes or fail, accept the responsibility, learn from it, and move on. Get discomfortable. It’s all good. We love you.

7. Maintain a sense of humor. Any kind of humor is better than none. Joke with your friends and family and don’t take yourself seriously. So many comedians are available to watch now. They are experts at finding humor in the most unlikely places. Comedians are the last bastion of free speech. Only you can allow yourself to be offended. And only you can change the channel if you are. In the meantime, laugh your ass off!

8. Seek positive and trusted sources. Set boundaries that care for your mental and physical health. Start your own social groups. Avoid social media traps that use you. Don’t fall into poisonous click bait traps. This includes “news” of CNN, FOX, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, NYT, WP, etc. foreign and domestic sources. These channels’ sound bites, headlines,and their “reporters and officials” are typically trying to be a part of the story rather than objectively reporting it. This mainstream media maelstrom and the links they are populated with, want to scare you with the latest numbers and tragic anecdotes, so you tune in. A vast majority of what is shown in the media is posted to generate income to the companies from each time you view or click on their link. Ask, how is reading/listening to this stuff helping me? Do I NEED to know this to be happy? These are the lowest common denominators preying on your fears and vulnerabilities that result in your higher anxiety. Resist looking at their car crash on the highway, ignore them and drive on. Maintain a healthy distance and don’t pollute your mind with their propaganda and fear! Your answers are elsewhere.

9. Get your health information from reputable expert health and well-being sources without an alternative agenda. Look for experts that have researched epidemiology, psychology and longevity for many years. Not some reporter, official/expert (?) or TV clown that bought a certificate or degree last week. Examples I found are UCSF, CDC, Johns Hopkins U, Peter Attia MD, Rhonda Patrick MD, Brene Brown and many more .

10. Exercise common sense and avoid over reaction. Slow down and count to ten. Ask yourself, how I am I best serving my family, friends, self and society. Sometimes that means doing nothing, saying nothing and reading a good book. Sometimes that is informed, swift and decisive action. Leave some TP, bleach and Hot Pockets on the shelf for the next guy. Ask, how important is this? And remember to use your turn signal. It still works.

11. Healthy skepticism is good. Detachment with love is good. If it doesn’t feel right or sounds too good to be true, it most likely is not true. Say no and walk away.

12. Control what you can control and let the rest go. Turn it over to your God/Higher Power or pet turtle or the Potomac River, and take your next right step. Again, that may be to do nothing. We do not need to see the end. We don’t need all the answers. Like a car driving at night, we only need to see what is in the headlights to keep on our road.

13. Play games. Tell jokes. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?

14. Have faith. Practice hope. Good really does prevail. It may take awful forms and it may be very difficult to see and live through. In the end, the good is there. Bad and evil exist too. In all of us. Get to know it all so we know what it is and how to address it. Focusing and practicing on the good that dwells within, creates a world that provides life affirming energy to accomplish great things and experience true joy. Realize all things of life are temporary. What is happening today happens every day. However, today’s version of life is magnified and accelerated. See #4. More reason to slow down to find truths that support your faith. You have faith or you don’t. Find it. No partial credit. No one can take it from you and it’s free.

15. True swimming begins when we surrender to the water. Huh?! 16. Seek greater learning. With more down time, listen or read the classics or the latest discoveries that may shed light to create a better situation now. Understanding our nature and its history builds confidence and inner strength. These ideas provide fuel for positive, life affirming discussions with friends and family. This keeps our minds exercised and alert. Share your knowledge. Education helps eliminate fear, panic, and violence….at all levels of the social strata.

17. Exercise. Get outside and experience nature. Nature is a path to keep the ego in check. Get some sun and don’t be pale. Just get out and move and get sweaty. Strong body keeps a strong mind. Eat and drink good stuff too. Comfort food tastes good…. for a while. Then we pay for it. Ughh!

18. Individually, we are all connected. Our connections create our communities. There are many people that have it worse than you and me. Some will not survive. Financially, millions will be devastated. You and I may be some of those. The landscape will change dramatically. This is our time to show the universe and each other the power of love in action. Ultimately, we all benefit from how well we treat the person next to us. The most efficient and effective form of service is achieved one on one. Governments and institutions may have good intentions, but their survival and power are contingent upon us. They know that. Their “benefits” are watered down compared to the impact your smile and heartfelt thank you have on the clerk or driver keeping food on your table. Not to mention helping hands or direct contributions. Time and imagination will tell what we can and will do to adapt to the future, how we lift each other up with our individual talents, willpower, compassion, kindness and energy. These are the fuels that power the world that matters. We won’t save the whole world, but a little love will make a world of difference. It begins with you and me! It will all work out in the end. Let’s see what happens. Be well! I’m going for a swim…

Now back to #13 …to stretch his legs! Ha! DJC 3/26/20